Monday, April 29, 2013

Can't win for losing

Date: April 29, 2012
Time: 10:33 am
Current state: Caffeinated
Location: Work
Weather: Bipolar(sunny, cloudy, warm, cold)

Today's Menu:
Cheerios, skim milk
Coffee w/whole milk and Equal
Mixed nuts
Frozen lunch from TJ's
Bowl of carrots
Whole wheat pretzels
Whole wheat pasta with pesto, artichoke hearts, spinach and tomatoes
Red wine
Square of dark chocolate

I have to start out by thanking everyone that has reached out with words of support and encouragement. It's an important reminder that while even though I am responsible to make a change in my life, I'm not alone. If anyone reading this is thinking about making a change in their life, be it weight-loss, quitting smoking, or taking up the trapeze, surround yourself with a community of people who will support you. No wo/man is an island.

Yesterday a friend on Facebook posted this comic by Paige Hall (original work can be found here):

My reaction to this comic spans across several areas. The first is how we see and compare ourselves to others; be it someone in our everyday lives, or in the media (movies, ads, fashion, etc.). Second is how we feel others see us. Third is unrealistic expectations set by both the male and female gender. I would like to quickly touch on all three:

I would like to say I'm above comparing myself to others, and I would even like to say that I'm above judging others on what they're wearing or how they look. I wish I could say that I don't, but I do. Whether it's judging someone's outfit, or even their weight, I find myself drawing comparisons. It's almost like some sort of evolutional pecking order: the perceived beautiful pick on the less perceived beautiful, and the less perceived beautiful pick on the even less perceived beautiful; otherwise how are we supposed to feel good about ourselves if we don't perceive ourselves as more beautiful than someone else? To that I say: f*ck that sh*t. It's a pretty simplistic approach but an affective one, I feel.

I think back to my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Carter. I was crying because the kids were teasing me. I told her that the other kids hate me because I don't look like them. She looked at me and said, "That's right, you don't. You're not supposed to! You are exactly the way you are supposed to look, and they are the way they are supposed to look." Wise words, and easily forgotten. My wish for my fellow women is to embrace that ideology: you look the way you are meant to look. You are not supposed to look like Linda Carter. You're not supposed to look like that Victoria's Secret model. You are supposed to look like you. Take care of your body, but also love it as it is.

Summer out.*

*Do you ever find yourself judging others? Reply in the comments section.


Janina Martin said...

Great blog entry Summer. I remember 2 years ago, at an Easter Season mass, I decided to give up judgment for Lent. Wow, that was perhaps the hardest thing I could have chosen to give up. It was funny, the moment I was trying to decide what to give up, I was looking around the church and noticed a young woman walking in wearing something I thought was not appropriate for church. My mind immediately went to this thought: "She's wearing WHAT???" I was immediately struck with the knowing that judgment was what I needed to give up. And yet, I still struggle with it. Appearance, attitudes, courtesy (or lack thereof), can still trip me up with judgment. Don't even get me started on how I judge myself!!!! So, yep, I'm gonna try your suggestion of f*ck that sh*t when judgments come to my mind.

Kathryn said...

What a challenge! Judgement is always something I kick myself for and it reveals how vile I am capable of being. I will continue to kick myself for such thoughts and move forward.
Hot tea
Two Cali rolls, a small bit of salmon, small bit of brown rice, green beans
Honest Tea
Pesto chicken
Chocolate square

jen said...

Sums- You know I love F*ck that S*it.
There's no point in kicking yourself for it, Kathryn... love yourself through it... "oops... there I go again, judging. Let's bring it on back to love..." works better than a kick (which seems kind of negative and self-shaming which doesn't seem like something worth propagating.)